Lifestyle, Mental Health


Wow. It’s been a long time since even thinking about writing a blog post. To say that my spring semester of junior year…scratch that…to say that my junior year of college was the busiest, most stressful year of my life is an understatement. Despite this blog post not being a life update, I will quickly say that this year has tested me over and over again. It’s helped me to grow and mature. It’s tested my patience. It’s tested my relationships. And it’s MOST DEFINITELY tested my sanity. Yet here we are, sane (for the most part) and now a senior in college! WOO-HOO!

Now onto what’s really weighing on me…

Technology. Social Media. The internet. Have you ever thought about and examined what these things actually mean to you? How they play a role in your life? Lately, I’ve really had to take a step back and examine the pros and cons of social media. If you’ve been a reader of mine for a while now, you’d remember my social media break (Social Media Experiment – SOCIAL MEDIA ISN’T EVERYTHING) and recall that even two weeks free of social media allowed me to strengthen relationships with loved ones and completely diminish any stressors due to social media urging us to show off a “perfect” life.

Lately, I have been feeling similar to how I was feeling before my first social media break, however this time, I have begun to develop emotions of anger and annoyance at what social media has become and the emphasis it places on perfection, whatever perfection may be in the eyes of others.

*DISCLAIMER* This post is not to rant about my life. I love my life and the people in it. However, it is to state my feelings in hopes that other’s can relate to these feelings and maybe come to a realization of their own.

Writing these past couple months has not come easy. I’ve talked in previous posts about inspiration and how I have been lacking in inspiration for a while now. It seems that only in times of sadness or anger can words easily flow out of my mouth. When contemplating why social media takes such a toll on my life, this is what came out.

In comparison to others, I do not feel special. In comparison to others, I do not feel pretty. In comparison to others, I do not feel wanted or sought after. And because of this, I blame technology. I blame technology for allowing us to broadcast the amazing parts of our lives while completely overlooking the horrible and VERY REAl parts of our lives. I blame technology for making it so easy to compare my body, my materials, and my life to those more fortunate than I. I blame technology for stealing my self-esteem from me. But here I am, continuing to post, to tweet, to make statuses, because this is what my generation does. And this is how I am able to feel important. Technology has simultaneously stolen my happiness while being the thing that is able to make me feel accepted, wanted and loved. Talk about a fucked up concept.

To reiterate; No, I do not hate my life.  No, I am not disregarding the amazing people I have in my life already. No, I am not being ungrateful for the life I was given. As stated above, I love my life and each soul who has touched it in the past 21 years. But now more than ever, a large following and hundreds, if not thousands of likes and comments are what makes someone “important.” Important to who you may ask? WHO FUCKING KNOWS. By what standards are we considered pretty or handsome? WHO FUCKING KNOWS. We continue to aim for these unreachable standards placed by social media influencers, INFLUENCERS WHO ARE PAID TO SHOW OFF THE FLASHIEST, MOST “PERFECT” PARTS OF THEIR LIVES. And because of this, me, and people like me, have unreachable standards set day after day. Striving for a fantasy life of new clothes every day, fancy meals 3 times a day, and living the life that everyone else wants but can’t have. Like I said, a fucked up concept indeed.

I guess this post is more of a reminder to myself and others. A reminder that our lives can be “perfect” in our eyes if we choose to make it perfect. Aiming for a toned body and nice ass like that one Instagram model you’ve been following for ages? Stop. Aim for the toned and fit body YOU want because YOU want it, not because someone else has it. Striving to get over 10,000 followers because in the eyes of others, then you’re closer to being someone “important?” Stop. Focus your energy on gaining a real, in-person friend.

This post is certainly directed towards people my age because I am sure I’ll be told by older generations that defeating this social media brainwash is as easy as deleting the app and putting your phone down. Well any millennial can agree with me in saying it’s not that easy. We are moving closer to a completely technological world, so acting as if social media doesn’t exist, or doesn’t play some sort of role in our lives is simply naive. However, we can acknowledge DAILY that these standards set by social media influencers ARE UNATTAINABLE. STUPID. A FANTASY.

Together, we need to stop letting social media determine whether we are living a noteworthy and “important” life. Instead, let’s make our own standards and work to attain those while appreciating and spreading love to those around us!

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xo ツ


3 thoughts on “Brainwashed”

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